Paris Hilton Pissed Because Her High School Boyfriend Is Better Looking Than Her

Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?:

Paris Hilton was cruising along just nicely on an Eight Ball rocket ship to Cloud Nine, then she had to go and get herself a young boy toy model boyfriend to prove to the world that neither Father Time or HSV2 could stop her from being popular and wanted.

But what Paris didn’t figure out in her size zero designer brain was how old and haggard she’d feel when she started watching her underaged boyfriend modeling clothes on the catwalk, like he did for Mango in Barcelona the other night, and that all the women and men-who-love-men in attendance would be whooping it up like Oprah guests getting free slippers for this pretty boy model and totally ignoring her.

That’s when Paris gave the whole room a giant stank eye with her lazy eye, giving everybody the super fucking creeps.

Dudes who date hot girls have their own problems, but it’s nothing like girls who date dudes who look better than they do.

That’s some real shit serious problems that will put a pout on your face.

Remember back like ten years ago when Paris and even her super boring sister Nicky were worth checking out in their stupid designer glasses and bikinis on the beach?

When Nicky had a tattoo right above her ass that read, “Daddy’s drink goes here” and Paris had yet to consume more yeyo than Tony Montana?

Well, I still think Paris Hilton is a very hot woman.

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