Natalie Portman Could Use A Decent Meal

Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?:

Natalie Portman used to be the shit. The bomb.

The little Jewish girl who could.

I’m not sure what happened to her.

She married a gay ballet dancer and they somehow produced a child and then she disappeared after what appears like many months of hardcore fasting.

No woman should ever have bony cheeks.

It’s a sign that they hate food.

And women who hate food also hate men.

I paint with a very broad brush.

Still, just to be safe, find yourself a girl whose eyes light up at the Hometown Buffet.

She’s probably going to be fun in the sack.

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